BABALA: Isa itong emo post. You have been warned! Misleading ang title. Huwag akong sisihin kung pipilitin mong basahin. Bwahahaha!
Gusto ko ng magbakasyon….
Namimiss ko na ang dagat, ang sand (kukutusan ko magreregalo sa akin ng tubig na may buhangin), etc..
Too much thoughts lately…. Even those that shouldn’t be thought about. Thoughts that I should have been avoiding. But it pesters me every now and then. And just when you thought you made it, that you are finished with it, it’ll hit you. And it’ll hit you over and over like it hit you the first time. Vicious cycle. And you have no idea how to stop it. You just keep it bottled, as people around you is affected, and you are getting tired of it. You also are getting tired of them being affected and/or getting tired because of you, especially when you can’t keep it in anymore.
Just realized that I need to stop and breathe. Past few weeks had been too much fast-paced. Need to look around and see stuff. Have overlooked some things, but also realized that there are things that should be overlooked and just let them pass by. But then again, even when you realized that you need to do those stuffs, you’ll eventually forget, and when you remember, sometimes it won’t work anymore. And those things that you let pass by, might return to bite you in the ass.
Yesterday, I watched a movie. Actually, I watched two movies. One of those is the movie that I have been forever avoiding to watch. They said one of the things that will help is to face whatever it is that is bothering you, especially those that you have been avoiding. They said I was like one of the protagonist in the movie. Maybe I am, maybe I’m not. They said the story was like my story. I watched it. It made me numb. Some of the situations might have been the same, most of it actually. But over-all, it wasn’t. In the end it was just a movie. And I have no idea if it helped or not.
I think one of the things why I want to have a vacation is the peace of mind it brings. But sometimes or most of the time, it wouldn’t give you that. It would just give you more time to dwell on those thoughts. But it will help you think of something else; occupy your mind with something new.
However, even if you do something new, or something old, at one point while you’re doing it, you couldn’t help but dwell on those thoughts even for a moment.
And in that one moment, the wheel starts again.
Like I said, vicious cycle.